Today's Life Lesson

In my garden and all through my yard, I have this one particular weed that just does not go away. I can tug and pull and strain and may break it; pulling it up is impossible. I just don't know how to get rid of it. It is covered in thorns and grows and twists all over everything; plants, the house, wires...everything.

Well, I had to take a walk through my Life Garden today and I have those same kind of weeds growing in there as well. I keep cutting it off at the surface but just can't seem to hit the roots to kill the whole weed. As long as it is there, it is going to continue to raise it's ugly, thorny self up and try to choke out the pretty plants around it.
I acted so un-Godly today. I allowed myself to say things that I have not said in quite some time. I was angry but far from sinning not. I've not mastered how to one, not let things get to me and then two, when they do to not sin when I am angry.

For some reason I keep measuring myself through the eyes of everyone else instead of through the eyes of God. What people say about me hurts and how people perceive me matter to much. I was telling a mom yesterday that situations change. It makes no since to do something permanent in response to something ever-changing. Well, the same goes for me; it makes no since to try and measure myself through the eyes of others when opinions of me change from one person to the next. I will never get an accurate assessment of who I really am that way. So, how do I measure myself through God's eyes when I can't see through His eyes. For now, all I can go on is what He has told me and what I am doing every day in response to that.
Last Mother's Day (not this past, but the one prior) I had a dream. It was one of those dreams that I felt so certain that it was from God but I wasn't sure. So, I prayed that morning that if it was from Him that He would confirm it and if not then for Him to let me forget it. Service that morning was identical to my dream. That was my confirmation. The message was about strong women vs. women of strength. We can be strong on the outside but have no strength with in us or in our spirits. God has a calling on my life and it will take me being a woman of strength to fulfill my calling. So, every day is a day to grow or to weaken. What makes me who I am is what I do with my day. I have grown so much since that time. I am not the woman that I was; not even 2 years ago. I have come through so much mud and so near death to now being a clean and vibrant woman.

Still, I let Satan suck energy and life from me every time I allow a weed to sprout back up and to grow. I continue to let the weight of the world smother me and distract me. It happens before I know it just like the weeds in my yard. One day my garden is clean and the next it is chok full and I'm left wondering where on Earth it all came from.
I know that I am a good woman; in many ways I've become a great woman. I am proud of the wife that I am and the mother that I am. I am not proud of every action and every word but in total I am amazed at where I am today. I am excited about where God will bring me in my future. Every day I have to choose to weed my garden. When I don't then I find myself in a mess with a lot of extra works and suffering to deal with. That is part of life though. Live and learn. Weed, weed, and weed some more.

So, first lesson is to stop measuring myself through the eyes of others and getting upset about what is said and done. Second lesson is when I am angry I am to sin not